Deer brand Basil Seed Drink

Origin - Thailand
Rating - Boston Baked Beans
This is Deer brand Basil Seed Drink With Honey. It is from Thailand
and I picked it up at the International Grocery Store in Windsor.
It is definitely the weirdest looking beverage I've ever drank.
It tastes like honey water with little gummi fruit balls floating around
in it. Kinda like drinking tapioca pudding.  You can actually chew the
weird little balls after each sip. I don't dislike it but...its pretty
weird. Boston Baked Beans! Reviewed by Sean G.

Pakola - Ice Cream Soda

Origin - Pakistan
Rating - Boston Baked Beans










This is ice cream soda by Pakola. It is from Pakistan and I bought
it at an Indian grocery store. Its lime green in colour and tastes
like cream soda but with a flowery, perfumey taste. It literally
tastes like you are drinking sweet perfume. Its Boston Baked Beans.
Reviewed by Sean G.

Kimura - Curry Ramune Flavour

Origin - Japan
Rating - Good (on it's own)/Not so good (as a cocktail)
Who could possibly say no to this product. Soda and curry are just such a natural fit. At first I thought the marble thing unnecessary and overly complex. But then I realized it was from Japan. They're light years ahead of us so I'm going to blindly accept this as superior technology. The drink tastes like a slightly flat ginger ale with a little extra spice. It really wasn't bad. Now the Sailor Jugdish I was not so fond of. It tasted like a crappy flat left over cocktail from the night before that you only drown to avoid the DT's.
Reviewed by Ms. K








Rating - Awesome
When we first discovered the last remaining bottle of Curry Ramune at the "Lucky Supermarket", we knew it must come home with us. After doing a bit of research, I found that "Ramune" is lemonade! This is carbonated, curry flavoured lemonade. I thought, "it just doesn't get any stranger than this", until i saw Kimura's website. They have a spicy version as well. HMM? Anyways, the bottle itself is odd. After you remove the lid, you have to push a marble down and it *POPS* and fills with bubbles. Fun! The product itself has the appearance of canola oil and smells like dirt-cheese. Not promising but what the fuck. I discovered it actually tastes really good! It's light and slightly fruity with a definite curry taste. It reminded me of a spicy ginger beer that was a little bit citrus. My next logical thought was, "LET'S ADD BOOZE TO IT!!" and I grabbed a bottle of Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum. Try this if at all possible, it's crazy!
Reviewed by Andy X



Sailor Jugdish
1oz of Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum
3oz of Curry Ramune
Ice

Fudgee Barr - Milky Craze

Origin - Philippines
Rating - Good
WOOOOOOOO, it's crazy! This was a bit better than Macapuno Magic but still nothing special. I was hoping when we cut into it, egg yolks would pour out. They did not. Again no magic AND no craze. It's basically pound cake with a caramel icing inside but not much of it. As the packaging suggests, it's ideal for any occasion, so bust out these crazy mother fuckers at the next funeral you attend to lighten the mood. Maybe stick one in the corpse's mouth for a laugh.
Reviewed by Andy X




Rating- Good
Milky craze. If that means all the cool kids are doing it then I'm in. This is a slightly more appealing member of the Fudgee Barr family. Imagine if those clever folks at Hostess made a pound cake with a custard filling and there you go. And they ARE delightful for all occasions. I suggest it as the cake at your next truck stop wedding. Reviewed by Ms. K

Fudgee Barr - Macapuno Magic Flavour

Origin - Philippines Rating - Boston Baked Beans
The name Fudgee Barr right away, makes me think of Rosanne Barr's panties. Wrong? Yes. It can't be helped. This little slice of ALF turd looks like a green muffin and doesn't have much of a smell that I could tell from. Inside we notice there is no cream but a slight glazing of snot. What a rip! Where's the FUCKING MAGIC??? It honestly doesn't taste bad, kind of like a coconut pound cake...but it's a little weird. Nothing like a Twinkie as the packaging would suggest. I could take it or leave it. It gets a BBB.
Reviewed by Andy X





Rating - Boston Baked Beans
It wasn't the green Twinkie we were expecting but it wasn't bad. A macapuno is a coconut that has more flesh than your regular coconut. You may be asking who decides and regulates this? Well kids the brave men and women of the Philippine Coconut Authority. I was also disappointed with the lack of filling. Especially since the package is pushing more filling. How could there be less? There was less of a coconut taste and more of all consuming taste of margarine. If that taste hadn't lingered for minutes this wouldn't have been so strange. How did they pack a whole tub into this tiny cake? Maybe that's the magic.
Reviewed by Ms. K

Companion - Cha'i-Pow-Yu Braised Gluten Tidbits

Origin - Taiwan Rating - Donkey Shit x10
Upon first glance you'd swear you had a can of pickled vaginas, ready to serve of course. It smells like a dog rubbed it's ass along a piece of wood, what a fragrance. Let me first say that this is one of the worst things I've ever had to taste and the texture is light years beyond acceptable. IF you can get past what it looks like AND the fact it smells of soy sauce, wood and shit you discover a taste that keeps on giving long after you've probably gagged. There's definitely a soy taste and some kind of woody essence and OH GOOD, it squirts in your mouth when you take a bite! The texture is a cross between used tea bags and used snot-soaked kleen-ex. Did I mention it squirts? Wow. I actually was so thrown back I had to sit down and have a cigarette. This crap could be totally rotten and you'd never know.... Reviewed by Andy X


Rating - Donkey Shit
I hadn't been looking forward to this one. And for good reason. I think they found a shoebox of these under Ed Gein's bed. The can says ready to eat but after we opened it I didn't know if I would ever be ready. Holy crap, the smell!!! I'll admit I gagged a bit. They looked even more awful out of the can. Like water logged bits of skin. After amusing myself watching Andy eat his I took a breath and manned up. Thankfully they could not live up my imagined level of badness. The tidbits had the texture of a really thin egg omlette that had been soaking in an intensely pungent soy sauce. I'm happy to say mine did not squirt. I think this product is used to convert people into being gluten free.
Reviewed by Ms. K

Calpico (Calpis) - Original Flavour

Origin - Japan Rating- Good / Awesome
Next up Calpico or Calpis if you prefer. It appeared to be watery milk. There was definite fruit smell that's impossible to explain because there is no fruit in it! Once it's in your mouth it has a strange thickness. Not unlike Sunny D. But after your taste buds adjust, it's pretty good. And I never thought I would say these words but pour me another glass of Russian Cow Piss. This is what the Dude would drink if he went to the land of the rising sun.
Reviewed by Ms. K

Rating - Good (On it's Own) / Awesome (As a cocktail)
What in Satan's love-jizz IS this stuff?? What we do know is that in North America it's called "Calpico", in Japan it's called "Calpis" (they changed the name so it doesn't sound like "cow piss"). I've even seen a bottle called "Calpis - Men's White Water", because that's definately better than cow-piss!! After opening the bottle, I noticed it has a very mild citrus smell, wasn't excpecting that. It has the flavour of maybe lemonade - yogurt, but very mild...maybe even a slight Kool-Aid taste. It's very watery but the texture is slightly thicker. What could improve on this? BOOZE, that's what.
Reviewed by Andy X
It makes a great mix drink. Here's the recipe:

Russian Cow-Piss
1oz Black Russian mix (Vodka & Kahlua)
2oz Calpico
Ice
MMMMMMMMMMMMm mother fucker.