Companion - Cha'i-Pow-Yu Braised Gluten Tidbits

Origin - Taiwan Rating - Donkey Shit x10
Upon first glance you'd swear you had a can of pickled vaginas, ready to serve of course. It smells like a dog rubbed it's ass along a piece of wood, what a fragrance. Let me first say that this is one of the worst things I've ever had to taste and the texture is light years beyond acceptable. IF you can get past what it looks like AND the fact it smells of soy sauce, wood and shit you discover a taste that keeps on giving long after you've probably gagged. There's definitely a soy taste and some kind of woody essence and OH GOOD, it squirts in your mouth when you take a bite! The texture is a cross between used tea bags and used snot-soaked kleen-ex. Did I mention it squirts? Wow. I actually was so thrown back I had to sit down and have a cigarette. This crap could be totally rotten and you'd never know.... Reviewed by Andy X


Rating - Donkey Shit
I hadn't been looking forward to this one. And for good reason. I think they found a shoebox of these under Ed Gein's bed. The can says ready to eat but after we opened it I didn't know if I would ever be ready. Holy crap, the smell!!! I'll admit I gagged a bit. They looked even more awful out of the can. Like water logged bits of skin. After amusing myself watching Andy eat his I took a breath and manned up. Thankfully they could not live up my imagined level of badness. The tidbits had the texture of a really thin egg omlette that had been soaking in an intensely pungent soy sauce. I'm happy to say mine did not squirt. I think this product is used to convert people into being gluten free.
Reviewed by Ms. K